Sunday 14 July 2019

Nothing Matters

I'm a workaholic. I can't sit still, I have to be doing something productive, I get bored easily, the whole bent of my entire life is to be working.
 
Than can change in a moment.
 
My teenage daughter came home late. Two hours late. At 10pm I was frantically trying to find ways of finding her. At 11pm she knocked on the door and blamed me for 'overreacting'.
 
You can never know that feeling of panic until your child doesn't get home when expected.
 
But in that moment, all my work, my goals, passions, dreams and aspirations were resigned to the dustbin of life.
 
For that one moment, in the belief that some bad person had done a bad thing to my child, I went through grief, thoughts of vengeance and abject despair and depression.
 
I was wondering how to break the news to her younger brother, how to comfort my wife and keep myself sane and strong to guide our family through the worst.
 
Thankfully my daughter did turn up, I did put her to bed safely and we as a family can feel safe again.
 
But this highlighted to me how fragile a mind can be, how one little nudge can send even the strongest to nihilism.
 
And why we should create moments with those closest to us, our partners, our children, whomever we are close to.
 
Life is too short to worry about our work, when we could be spending our time creating moments.